


daydream.02

by inkahgase



Series: Daydreams [2]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, F/M, Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 23:44:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21127235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkahgase/pseuds/inkahgase





	daydream.02

You sit on your new favourite spot by the window sill, watching the world pass you by. A storm is brewing outside of your home and inside your heart. No matter what you do there’s no escape, so you choose to let the darkness pull you in.

You stare at the water droplets that cascade down the window, comparing them to your tears that never stop flowing. You’re sure you’ve cried enough to flood a town but they keep coming and you are powerless to stop it.

_Powerless. Useless. That’s what you are._

The front door creaks open and you wince before hastily wiping your face with the front of your shirt. Carding your fingers through your hair, you attempt to make yourself look presentable even though you know that none of it matters since he’ll see right through you anyway.

“You didn’t bring any tea with you today,” Jinyoung notes from behind you. Looking up but not back, you stare at Jinyoung’s somber expression on the window mirroring yours. “Shall I go make it for you?”

You shake your head vehemently. “I don’t need it today,” you reply in a small, shaky voice. “I would’ve made it myself if I needed it.”

Jinyoung is ever patient with you, not taking your words to heart. He knows that what the both of you are going through is a lot harder on you than him. Luckily, he’d already stocked up on patience today.

“Would you like me to get you anything else?” he starts again.

“No.” _Cold. Distant. Empty._ “How was your walk?”

Jinyoung takes a deep breath before sighing. At least you’re talking to him. “Actually, I went to see mother today instead,” he explains calmly. “I brought home some _samgyetang_ she made us and—”

“What? You went to see your mother? Why?” you ask, up from the window sill now. Hurt etched in your features.

Jinyoung doesn’t understand what he could’ve said to make you angry like this so he chooses to tread carefully. “I just went to speak with her—”

“Instead of speaking with me?” you ask incredulously. “Why would you betray me like this?”

For once, Jinyoung doesn’t know what to do. Usually calm and collected, he can make decisions on the fly. Even with emotions thrown in the mix. But he watches you fall apart in front of him and he feels helpless. Which is the reason he spoke to his mother in the first place.

“Baby, I didn’t—”

“And you asked her to make _samgyetang_ instead of asking me?”

Jinyoung is at a loss for words. It doesn’t do anything to simmer down the rage that’s inside you. You reach breaking point.

“Why wouldn’t you ask me?” you ask, voice barely a whisper.

Jinyoung takes a step towards you but stops when he sees you take a step back. _How did it get like this?_

“Babe,” Jinyoung tries to bring you back. “It’s not like that. I just—”

“It’s because I’m useless isn’t it?” you interrupt him and he stands there in shock. If he won’t say it then you will. “Admit it,” you urge him. “I know it. You know it. Everybody knows it!”

“Baby, what are you talking about?” he pleads with you.

You start pacing back and forth. “I’m your wife and I can’t even bare you a child,” you cry to yourself. 

_Ah_, of course. It’s been weeks but he should’ve known.

“I am a woman and I can’t even carry your child,” you sob now. “All I wanted was to give you a family. Then I just had to lose our baby, didn’t I? All you wanted was a family and I couldn’t even give you that. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I—”

“Hush,” Jinyoung finally reaches you, tears streaming down his face as he holds you in his arms. You collapse in his hold from everything you’ve been keeping in for weeks but he holds you and never lets you go. “I got you,” he cries in your hair. “Let it all out. I’ve got you.”

Jinyoung holds you close to him as you both fall to the floor. He gathers your wracking body on his lap and cries with you.

“I’m so sorry,” you cry into his shirt, fisted tight in your hands.

“Baby, it’s not your fault,” he gently reminds you. “You don’t have to apologise. It’s a very unfortunate thing to happen… but it happens, and it happened to us. All we can do is move forward now.”

You look up and deep into his eyes. “But I can’t give you a family.”

“Baby, we’re already a family,” Jinyoung caresses your cheek. “We don’t need to have a child to be a family. Of course, I want a child and they would be a wonderful addition but it doesn’t mean we aren’t a family already just because we don’t have one.”

“But what if I can’t give you a child? I can’t complete us.”

“Baby, we’re already complete,” Jinyoung pleads for you to understand. “We don’t need anything else. With a child, we’re just choosing to share our love.”

Jinyoung kisses you, like his whole life depended on it. It does. 

“We got unlucky this time but it doesn’t mean you can’t have one. We can try again whenever you’re ready. I will wait years if I have to. Even if you can’t, there are other options out there, but only when you’re ready.”

“God, what did I do to deserve you?”

“You don’t have to do anything,” he holds you close to him again. “You will always have me. I’m not going anywhere.”

Jinyoung’s mother was right. That’s why she asked him to come over. She was worried about you after what had happened. Jinyoung mentioned that he had been giving you some space to grieve but she told him not to let you wallow in the darkness for too long or there would be no getting out. 

Jinyoung whispers that he loves you over and over as you continue to cry in his arms. From now on, he’ll make sure to bring you back when you’ve drifted away for far too long. He’ll be with you every step of the way.

_Until you both feel complete again._


End file.
